Shepherds Piehole

Free John Craft

Posted By LambChop

The U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Texas Malcolm Bales is doing “damage control” because of a personal Facebook post written by John Craft, an attorney in the criminal division. Bales will investigate Craft’s statements. As of now, Craft still has a job and a good reputation, previously prosecuting a high profile case of the bank robber John Steve Stark (the "Handsome Bandit"). Craft also prosecuted the Liberty County sheriff's captain who illegally bought and sold police guns and ammunition as well as a huge cocaine distribution ring responsible for money laundering and drug-trafficking in the region.

Craft posted comments in response to a status update backing Stand Your Ground laws, making references to Trayvon Martin, the  black 17-year-old killed by neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman, who was acquitted.

Craft wrote:

 "How are you fixed for Skittles and Arizona watermelon fruitcocktail (and maybe a bottle of Robitussin, too) in your neighborhood? I am fresh out of "purple drank." So, I may come by for a visit. In a rainstorm. In the middle of the night. In a hoodie. Don't get upset or anything if you see me looking in your window...kay?"

Awesome post as far as I am concerned.

 

FREE JOHN CRAFT

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Claim of Racial Bias Against Paula Deen Dismissed by Federal Judge

Posted By LambChop

Southern Bell Celeb Chef Paula Deen has been vindicated. Sort of.  (Except for the media hysteria surrounding her lawsuit, the YouTube videos and the Food Network’s asinine response).

Deen was sued by her former restaurant manager, Lisa T. Jackson. Jackson claimed that there was a pervasive attitude of racism and discrimination against black workers. She alleged that this atmosphere created a difficult work environment for her and that the discrimination was “more personally offensive” to her because her nieces are biracial.

Judge William T. Moore Jr., of Federal District Court in Savannah, ruled that Ms. Jackson did not meet the standard for protection under federal law and said she was no more than “an accidental victim of the alleged racial discrimination.” He reasoned that Jackson’s claim to proceed would “serve to conscript federal courts as human-resources departments that are responsible for imposing and monitoring a federally created standard for harmony in the workplace.”

Deen testified under oath at a deposition related to the suit, admitting that she uttered the word “n*gger” – in private 27 years ago. That testimony hit the public airwaves and Deen’s  grandmotherly image melted like a stick of butter left in the window – thanks to the Legion of the Politically Correct.

Meanwhile, Deen’s attorneys continue settlement talks with Jackson – looks like the price for Ms. Jackson’s extortion might go down a bit after the ruling. 

 

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Ever-Vigilant Ben & Jerry Halt Ice Cream Porn

Posted By LambChop

From Reuters:

A southern California pornography studio has reached an agreement with Ben & Jerry's NOT to release DVDs and other X-rated products whose names pay homage to the company's ice cream flavors, bringing resolution to the the trademark infringement lawsuit that Ben & Jerry's filed against Caballero Video.

Caballero must  stop selling a variety of products including its "Ben & Cherry's" film series, which included 10 titles such as "Boston Cream Thighs," "Chocolate Fudge Babes" and "Peanut Butter D-Cups."

Ben & Jerry's had claimed that such titles were too similar to its ice cream flavors such as Boston Cream Pie, Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Peanut Butter Cup.

The agreement also covers labels, packaging and advertising that mimicked Ben & Jerry's own. Caballero's packaging featured puffy white clouds and grazing cows, and the slogan "Porno's Finest." Ben & Jerry's uses the slogan "Vermont's Finest."

Kinda makes me wonder about Chunky Money. 

 

 

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Black Market Goods - Rampant Food Stamp Fraud Exposed

Posted By LambChop

From The New York Post: 

Today, there are 15 million more Americans on food stamps  than when Obama assumed office. In January of 2009, 32,204,859 Americans received aid from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. As of April 2013, there were 47,548,694 Americans on food stamps. Part of the reason for the increase is the relaxation of standards and push the administration has made to get folks to sign up for food welfare.  The result? Massive fraud. 

It is well-known that food-stamp fraud is rampant, but in New York food stamp fraud has become part of an international ring that funds the black market in the Dominican Republic.

New Yorkers buy food with their food stamp cards and ship the food for about $75 bucks in blue barrels to relatives in the Caribbean. The food is then re-sold in the street markets of the Dominican Republic.

The New York Post focused on a woman who is the go-to expert of welfare fraud and black market profits, “Maria-Teresa” who receives food shipments from her sister in NY.

 “It’s a really easy way to make money, and it doesn’t cost me anything. I don’t know how much of a business it is, but I know a lot of people are doing it,” she said.

Her best-sellers include a 19-ounce box of Frosted Flakes, which goes for $6.50 at Dominican supermarkets. She sells it for $2 less — after her sister buys it on sale for $2.99.But because the sister uses her Electronic Benefit Transfer card, she actually pays nothing — taxpayers foot the $2.99… A 23-ounce container of powdered Enfamil baby formula goes for $25 in the United States and $19 in Santiago but Maria-Teresa sells it for $15.

There are other ways to commit fraud with the use of the EBT cards.  Maria-Teresa also said her sister has Bronx grocers ring up fake $250 transactions with her EBT card. In exchange, the stores hand her $200 cash and pocket the $50 difference. No goods are exchanged. Free money from the US taxpayer!

“We do it all the time, and a lot of people do this,” Maria-Teresa said. “It’s a way of laundering money, but it’s easier because it’s free.”

READ MORE: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/isle_take_that_welfare_scam_VBsTspIxia2GA9o2oS505L

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Chubby Arabs Worth Their Weight in Gold!

Posted By LambChop

Perhaps “Richie Rich” NY Mayor Michael Bloomberg should put his money where his mouth is and follow the lead of officials in Dubai  who are implementing a reward  system for losing weight rather than Bloomberg’s solution  to attack fatties– ban, ban ban!  The city of Dubai is offering gold as an incentive for a weight loss initiative that will launch this week.

The “Your Weight in Gold” program began weighing participants in different parts of Dubai who, in order to qualify, must lose 4.4 pounds in a month. The contest is going on during the time of Ramadan where Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset.  Contestants must be “overweight.”

If successful, they will receive one gram of gold for each kilogram of weight lost. Based on market prices Thursday in the United Arab Emirates, two grams of gold would be worth about $82.

The three people who lose the most weight will be entered into a drawing for a gold coin worth more than $5,400.

In the United Arab Emirates in particular, 33.7% of adults are obese with Kuwaitis leading the stats in fat folks -  at 42.8%;  Saudi Arabia following at 35.2% and nearby Qatar has 33.1%.

 

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Michelle Obama's School Lunch Program Promotes Less Nutritious Choices, Waste, Leaves Kids Hungry & Costs More

Posted By LambChop

Yummy "Eggless" Sandwich

The Government Accountability Office (GAO) Highlights Section of the Report:  For example, because USDA regulations restrict the amounts of meats and grains that can be served in school lunches each week, all eight districts GAO visited needed to modify or eliminate popular menu items. These changes sometimes led to negative student reactions. The meat and grain restrictions also led to smaller lunch entrees, making it difficult for some schools to meet minimum calorie requirements for lunches without adding items, such as gelatin, that generally do not improve the nutritional quality of lunches.

Of course the unintended consequences of food waste, students refusing to eat the new menu items, hungry students, and the fact that the guidelines do not promote healthier options were never considered.

 The report cites the substitutions required to comply with the absurd regulations. For example, cheeseburgers were removed from one district’s lunch menus because adding cheese to the burger “would have made it difficult to stay within the weekly meat maximums.” Another district switched from shredded cheese on hot dogs to a not-so healthy chemically-based/processed cheese sauce because the liquid cheese “does not count as a meat alternate.”

The report also cited that in order to comply “…some districts added foods that generally did not improve the nutritional value of the lunches.”  They added ice cream. Gelatin, butter, jelly, processed cheese sauce and ranch dressing to add calories – of course these are not natural foods and they are full of sugar, salt and preservatives.

Ridiculous solutions to the regulations include 1.5 ounce burger patties, whole grain “potato chips,” and black bean sandwiches are driving students away from the school lunch program in droves – causing schools to lose money as students fend for themselves to avoid the horrible food.

http://www.gao.gov/products/GAO-13-708T

Michelle Obama Promotes a School Lunch Toxin - Greek Yogurt

Posted By LambChop

The U.S. Department of Agriculture will add Greek yogurt to subsidized children’s school lunches. New York politicians like Nanny Bloomberg cannot stop themselves from inspecting our pantries and rifling through our lunch boxes, spurred on by Michelle Obama’s insane school lunch takeover. The injection of Greek yogurt into the school lunch program is being pushed aggressively by Democratic Sen. Chuck Schumer, who represents New York State dairy farms. The farms stand to benefit greatly from the explosion in consumption of the trendy food.

Liberal elitists (translation:  old, rich white women) have been slurping down the thick, plain stuff for years– and of course, it comes from Greece, so it must be good. Once Ben & Jerry picked it up and pronounced it “worthy,” the feeding frenzy for Greek yogurt has caused the number of Greek yogurt producers in New York State to triple in less than 5 years.

In an ironic twist of environmentalist fate, apparently during the making of Greek yogurt, the yogurt MUST be strained. That process leaves a waste by-product called acid or sour whey which is a liquid by-product consisting of water, lactose, protein and yogurt cultures. Modern Farmer reports that whey acid is so environmentally toxic that it is illegal to dump it. Once it gets into the waterways, it kills off most aquatic water life.

Even more interesting is the fact that  according to many medical sources, more than 75-100% percent of African Americans, Native Americans and Mexican Americans and Latinos  are genetically lactose intolerant and would not be able to properly digest the yogurt – causing bloating, cramps, gas and diarrhea in as little as 20 minutes after consumption. 

 

The Racism of Butter

Posted By LambChop

With ALL of the talk about Paula Deen’s uncontrolled racist rant (she apparently said the N word one time 27 years ago and refused to lie about it under oath during her deposition) got me thinkin about racism. Of course racism in the linguistic form has been redefined – there are now “dog whistle” terms (things that are only heard by and coded for other racists – you know,  Republicans). The scientific term “black hole” is racist, as are the terms “food stamps,”  “shuck and jive” and “monkeying around.”

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have joined watermelon and fried chicken as foods deemed to be racist. But there is a NEW member of the four food groups has been exposed for latent racism. The latest sometimes additive and sometimes condiment that should fall into the racist category is - butter.

We all know racist Paula Deen is obsessed with butter. Most recipes she peddles on a weekly basis online, on TV, in her restaurant and cookbooks start off with at least one stick of the offending churned cream.

Who can forget the horrible racist television commercial with the grown NATIVE  AMERICAN woman dressed like an upscale Pocahontas claiming “We call it maize!” paying homage to the corn oil in Mazola margarine – a buttery product.

What about the racist story of Sambo? Sambo is a South Indian boy who encounters four hungry tigers, and surrenders his colorful new clothes, shoes, and umbrella so they will not eat him. The tigers are vain and each thinks he is better dressed than the others. They chase each other around a tree until they are reduced to a pool of melted butter. Sambo then recovers his clothes and his mother makes pancakes out of the butter. She probably used Aunt Jemima pancake baking mix. Pure racism.  Sambo then went on to become the inspiration for a racist restaurant chain named Sambo’s.

 

Of course, butter references litter our lexicon – and are greased with latent racist innuendo.

For instance, “someone's bread and butter” is defined as someone's basic income or livelihood—racist because it suggests that black people don’t work.

“Bread always falls on the buttered side” comes from a proverb meaning when things go wrong, they go completely wrong. Racist because African Americans have things go wrong.

“Butter someone up” means to flatter someone; to treat someone especially nicely in hopes of receiving special favors. White people are constantly doing this to black people.

“Butter wouldn't melt in someone's mouth” this proverb implies that someone is acting as if innocent. Of course this alludes to the high rates of crime committed by blacks, according to whites.

“Know which side one's bread is buttered on” comes from a proverb that suggests to be aware of where your money comes from; to be loyal to the person or thing that will benefit you the most. Of course, white power hoarders have been taking advantage of innocent powerless African Americans since slavery, and they must comply quietly in order to be treated fairly.

 

Hot Dog Eating Contest

Posted By LambChop

Hat Tip @JuddLegum

10 minutes

69 hot dogs

 20,010 calories

1,173 grams of fat

48,990 mg of sodium

759 g of protein

1 man

The Smoking Gun Behind the Mysterious Fall of Paula Deen

Posted By LambChop

It is always fascinating to watch liberals eat their own.

The latest casualty is Georgia peach, butter- swilling, cobbler- making Paula Deen - the food Pharaoh with a multi-million dollar empire built on the gooey butter cake. Paula’s southern fried food empire is crumbling like a snickerdoodle left in the sun because of public reports of her admission to using the deadly “n-word” 27 years ago.

While liberals accept foul-mouthed ethnic rants from their demi-gods like Alec Baldwin (famously calling a gay reporter a “toxic little queen”); John Mayer (“My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fu*kin’ David Duke c*ck”) and Mel Gibson ("You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault!”). Paula Deen is simply not allowed.

Some have speculated Paula’s spectacular fall from grace had to do with her obvious southernism-kind of a steel magnolia/Tammy Faye Bakker silver-wig wearing "grandma gone wild"  mystique. Of course, Paula's image could easily be confused with the watch list villains from Janet Napolitano’s Dept. of Homeland Security's  report – after all, the newly repurposed home -grown terrorists of the Obama administration are always southern…aren’t they?   Despite the fact that Deen is a card-carrying Democrat who openly campaigned for President Obama, much of the left refuses to claim her. Jimmy Carter and the Reverend Jesse Jackson have come to her rescue in separate television interviews– but no one could actually understand what either one of them said.

Meanwhile, poor Paula has had to appear on every failing liberal talk show and cry in order to redeem herself and repent before the almighty judges of political correctness. But, it’s not really working. Despite her heartfelt appeals for mercy (think Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice), nobody is taking the bait. Her publisher unceremoniously dumped her even though pre- ordered sales put Deen’s upcoming cookbook in the number one slot. Target, Wal-Mart, Home Depot and Caesar’s have all flown the Paula Deen coup.

Is the public tired of Paula? Have they given up their craving of sticks on butter in every pan? No. The real answer behind this BLACKBALLING of Deen has to do with the hidden “Deep Throat” character truly responsible for Deen’s ousting from her biscuit throne.

So who is this Deep Throat pounding poor Paula?

First Lady Michelle Obama.

 Case in point, Michelle appeared on Deen’s show in 2008 and fried up a little shrimp. After the episode, Deen mistakenly told The Washington Examiner that she and Michelle had more in common than one might expect. Deen said: “I did a show with Michelle and I just loved being with her. She probably ate more than any other guest I've ever had on the show. She kept eating even during commercials.”

Deen’s bombshell about the gluttonous future First Lady was at odds with Michelle’s plans – to promote herself as a fabulous fitness guru and Head B*tch in Charge of what Americans are allowed to eat.

As a result of Deen’s comments about the ravenous First Lady, The Daily Mail UK famously asked, “So does Michelle really overeat while lecturing kids to clean up their diets?” And then pointed out that Michelle prefers, meat, sugary foods and fried foods.

Uh oh. The empress has no clothes and what clothes she does have come from the husky section of the haute couture department. Unlike Marie Antoinette’s famously misattributed line “Let them eat cake!” that sparked the Flour War in 18^th century France, after Deen’s revelation, Michelle’s line would be “Let me eat cake, suckahs!”

Fast forward to 2013 when Deen’s admission to saying the TERRIBLE WORD was leaked to the public because of  her refusal to lie under oath. And now, because of Deen’s  inability to keep Michelle’s binging secret quiet, Michelle refuses to sell Deen an indulgence to pardon her from the eternal consequences of violating the liberal version of one of their seven deadly sins-“Thou Shalt Not Utter the N -Word Unless You are an A –list Rapper.”