This letter serves as notification that we the public DO NOT
WANT your “Limited Edition” Watermelon Oreos.
Please be advised of
other horrific food product failures in the past – a notorious list that the Limited
Edition Watermelon Oreo will no doubt top by July of this year.
Gerber’s Singles for Adults – Jarred smushed
foods with flavors like Beef Burgundy
Peanut Butter and Jelly Pop tarts
Ayds - Appetite suppressant candy that actually
caused diarrhea.
MacDonald’s Arch Deluxe- Hamburger for the
sophisticate.
Cosmopolitan Yogurt-The magazine’s foray into
food products did not go so well.
Burger King’s Enormous Omelet Sandwich.
Life Savers Soda
Reddi Bacon – Bacon that cooked in your toaster.
Tesco’s Strawberries & Cream Sandwich - A pre-prepared sandwich concocted to “celebrate” Wimbledon with strawberries, clotted cream and jam on bread.
The Huffington Post is
the liberal elitist’s accepted version
of the National Enquirer. The Huffpo has been
the source of many hilarious headlines over the years. The difference is that the
National Enquirer has been
responsible for random acts of real investigative
journalism; however, I am not aware of any of those crowding the pages of HuffPo. Sadly, Ariana’s sense of humor
is not self-deprecating either – she does not seem to get the joke.
This week HuffPo did
not disappoint. They published a recently completed survey compiled by a
website that provides an online dating service for married cheaters:
Where
do cheaters go when they want to grab a bite to eat with their mistresses?
The infidelity website surveyed 42,890 of their members in major
American cities to compile a list of the top 10 most popular restaurants for
cheaters to dine with their lovers. The website's founder and CEO Noel Biderman weighed in on why the choices were so seemingly bourgeois: “Chain restaurants are larger and less conspicuous. Steak houses
are always a popular affair destination since they’re not only dimly lit but
also commonly found in business districts, close to hotels where these type of
dates typically end.”
Here is the Top 10 list:
Flemings Steakhouse
Red Lobster
Outback Steakhouse
Chilis
Del Friscos STeakhouse
Cheesecake Factory
PG Changs
Houstons
Ruths Chris Steakhouse
Mortons Steakhouse
Trying to imagine Tiger Woods at Red Lobster or General Petraeus at The Cheesecake Factory. I guess drive thru is not an option? Maybe McDonald's needs to come up with a McCheater's Burger?
The same story: overpaid government employees taking advantage of perks,
travelling to a lavish resort for “training” that end up drunk, dancing, and
naked in the pool after hours – sadly it is the rule rather than the exception.
Chief
Operating Officer Billy Skaggs and Oscar Garrison, the director of the food
safety division for the Georgia Dept. of Agriculture, stepped down after a
preliminary investigation found they led a drunken “fraternity party” during an
agency training session that ended in co-ed skinny dipping at a South Georgia
resort, according to a whistle-blowing employee. Skaggs was on the payroll with
the Department for $96,000 + and Garrison
pulled down a cool $80,000 per year.
According
to documents The Atlanta Journal-Constitution obtained, dozens of agency
employees attended a training seminar at the Lake Blackshear Resort and Golf
Club near Cordele in September. On the night of Sept. 17, several employees
attended an after-hours gathering at a cabin shared by Skaggs, Garrison and
Trey Joyner, another department employee.
Can anyone please tell me what the hell the Department of Agriculture does - other than count cows, get drunk and take their clothes off?
Not only has Obama added staff in the form of Czars and a few
additional assistants for permanent sitcom guest, FLOTUS, Michelle Obama, but
there is yet another position for his Royal Highness in the Royal court - the assayer.
Of course, “assayer” is a medieval term for “Royal Food Taster.”
After Obama’s lunch with Republican senators on the Hill, Senator
Collins from Maine had this to say, “Unfortunately, you know, the president
can’t,” said Collins when asked if Obama ate at the lunch meeting. “He looked
longingly at it. He honestly did look longingly at it, but apparently he has to
have essentially a taster, and I pointed out to him that we were all tasters
for him, that if the food had been poisoned all of us would have keeled over
so, but he did look longingly at it and he remarked that we have far better
food than the Democrats do, and I said that was because I was hosting.”
This confirms what I have thought the entire time – Obama has turned
the Presidency into medieval-style monarchy complete with Court Jester, Vice
President Joe Biden.
52-year old John Alleman suffered a heart attack last week outside
the Heart Attack Grill restaurant and was taken off life support yesterday.
Alleman was a very regular patron and “unofficial
spokesman” for the restaurant who inspired the "Patient Jon"
character that appears on the restaurant's menu.
"He lived a very full life. He will be missed. I told him if
you keep eating like this, it’s going to kill ya. He’d say, 'I just love your
place, Jon.' He’s the only person I know who was probably at the restaurant
more than I [did]; he’d be here every darned day.” ~Jon Basso, owner of the Heart Attack Grill
The Las Vegas restaurant requires waitresses to dress as nurses and
serves Octuple Bypass Burger™, Coronary Dog™, Butterfat Milkshakes™, Taste
Worth Dying For®, butterfat milkshakes, and flatliner
fries . Patrons who are able to finish the burgers are escorted to their cars in wheelchairs. And
customers who weigh over 350 pounds eat free. Since opening the Las Vegas
location in October 2011, there have
been various reports of customers having medical emergencies while eating at
the grill, including a man actually having a heart attack while eating the
triple bypass burger .
Shane Windmeyer and Dan Cathy enjoying Sports Event
From Yahoo
News:
Most times
the news focuses on the mistakes and sins of Christian leaders. Today’s media loves nothing more than the fall
from grace of a “good person” - a public
violation of sex or character standard involving a Christian business leader,
politician or pastor.
But the
reality is that every day, a Christian leader, politician or pastor does the
right thing. Many times and without publicity, that person makes the moral
decision to extend grace to someone who has wronged them, to stand against what
is popular in favor of what is morally courageous, and to help someone
anonymously, expecting nothing in return.
Chick-fil-A
CEO Dan Cathy is just that type of leader who regularly uses what is whispered
in many Christian circles, the “law of attraction.” Cathy believes that actions speak louder than
words and by all accounts, runs his company and conducts himself in a manner
bespeaking the kindness, concern and
care for others. Practicing the same moral code that he preaches.
The story of Dan Cathy’s
latest demonstration of good will comes from a witness who most believe has
every reason to hate Cathy, written in a
story buried on the yahoo news website
in the political section under a headline, Chick-fil-A CEO, Gay Activist Meet
What has
occurred is indeed miraculous. The leader of a national gay-rights group says
he's coming out-as a friend of Cathy’s: "I've
gotten to know Dan; he's gotten to know me. He's shared concerns about young
people, about Chick-fil-A being used for certain purposes," said Shane
Windmeyer, executive director of Campus Pride, told ABC News.
Last year, Cathy sparked a
national controversy and a call for a nationwide boycott of Chick-fil-A’s
restaurants by outraged gay activists and liberal elitists, after Cathy
expressed his specifying religious views on the sanctity of marriage in a radio
interview: "We're inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at
him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage. And I
pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude
that thinks we have the audacity to redefine what marriage is all about."
Cathy could have stuck to his
guns, back tracked or ignored the firestorm of publicity. Instead Cathy did the
right thing, behind the scenes. Shane Windmeyer said that Cathy called him in
the midst of the controversy to garner advice and understanding of the position
of the “other side,” and to seek compromise. What? An intolerant gay-bashing
Christian holding out the proverbial olive branch and seeking to compromise?
Windmeyer said
Chick-fil-A has stopped donating to anti-gay groups in September of 2011. Windmeyer
says that while he and Cathy continue to disagree about the sanctity of
marriage they have reached an understanding of each other as people.
"If my
husband and I ever get the right to marry in North Carolina, I'll include Dan
Cathy on the guest list," he told ABC News.
MIT student Dhairya Dand invented ice cubes that are able to track how fast and how much someone is drinking.
The lights change from green to orange as a warning that the person might be hedging on drinking at an unsafe rate and change to red when they keep drinking beyond the safe limit.
Ladies and
metrosexuals, grab your hemp reusable grocery bag, spritz on a little patchouli
body spray, step into your Mephisto walking shoes and don an Argentinean sarong
with Target tank top – time to go grocery shopping. Against type, you might
want to pack some heat.
Michigan
taxpayers have received the pleasure of allowing tax credits and subsidies for
a brand spanking new Whole Foods gourmet grocery store smack in the middle of
Detroit. Whole Foods plans to open its upscale food store in Midtown Detroit in
2013, citing that Midtown Detroit is an area that is actually seeing some
growth, even while the rest of the Motor City sees stagnation bordering on a
third world country. Located in Midtown are Wayne State University, the Detroit
Medical Center, the Detroit Institute of Arts and Orchestra Hall. I suppose the
upscale retail chain is banking on professors, highly paid medical
professionals and opera attendees to go to the grocery store for some organic
food after work or after a show?
The
incentive package includes $4.2 million in state and local funds and it
requires that the business remain in operation for just 7 years after
first receiving the incentive. Sounds like a good deal for Whole Foods.
Gourmet food
and extended hours are a long shot even for a successful retailer like Whole
Foods. The demographic that seems to want Kashi cereal, pre-made organic
roasted eggplant salad, free range Cornish hen and cranberry bread for
$9.99 a loaf might not live in downtown Detroit. In 2008, Zaccaro’s (another
brand of gourmet grocery store) opened in Midtown, but closed in less than a
year.
Whole Foods is nicknamed “Whole Paycheck” in its home state
of Texas because of the extravagant prices. The bottom line is do
residents of Detroit (a city most agree is on the downswing) really want to
shell out the more than THREE TIMES the price of other grocery stores for the
privilege of regularly shopping at Whole Foods?
Recent Comments